The Overflow

Memories, reflections, and words flow from my eyes and my heart.

Seasons are what this life is all about.  Think back on your own life and you will be able to see seasons, a span of time dedicated to this person or that thing. You will also notice that they rise and fall and ebb and flow like rivers eroding a path that has become the journey of your life.

One thing I vowed at the age of twenty-six as I stood in the upstairs bedroom of a beautiful home on O' Fallon's Way, I will commit to this path with my heart. My mind currently refuses to acknowledge the events but my heart will own this path.

I made that commitment between God and myself.  I committed to honor my husband and his choices for our family. (God has blessed that commitment - I have gotten to do a lot of cool things.) I committed to creating community in the places I find myself.  I committed to loving the people God would put in my path and make from them,  a family.  I have found that my style, while seemingly commonplace to myself, is a bit unusual to most people.  I have come to believe that it is something that God gifted me with, perhaps born out of our pact
or put there as He knit me in my mother's womb.  Either way, He gave me a good hearty dose of emotional intelligence, I can read people and situations, well.  I can relate on many levels so there are not too many people that fall outside my realm of social competence and I love it.  I love people. I love digging down in there and helping you find that thing you didn't know you needed - God and relationships.

It is my belief that God wrote this into my DNA because He knew, unlike myself, that the river of my life was going to stretch out and wind toward the horizon for miles.  He is so, so good.  Friends, if you don't know Him like I know Him, I encourage you to search, He promises to be found.  Your life will never be the same and you will be blessed to have a companion for the journey.

Seasons end. So quickly and abruptly you could tailspin from the surprise.  The courage to face the ending of  a season comes and goes. It's a process, dear ones, and I am still learning how to be courageous.

I vowed to move my tents. I vowed to love.  I vowed to build community. Wherever I find myself.  I did not vow to go without tears.  I did not vow to go without feeling.

I would not trade, for one moment, the path of my life.  My sense of independence is something I once dreamed to have. My will to survive runs deep. My heart is scattered the world over and still beats within, ready to embrace the next adventure. 

I will raise my children in a tri-fold experience,  through three sets of states, cultures, and people, which is quite interesting to me.  This is the final stage, the one that brings them to manhood.  Then the current might be able to slow... 

God goes before me.

Behind me is joy, sorrow, people, adventures, food, growth, tears and love.

Thank you for being part of my story. The  chapters that have included you filled my heart, and now overflow.

The Next Adventure

I'm going on an adventure.

I am trying to find the time to get the words right, but there is not adequate time.

I'm going on an adventure and I'm running pell mell toward the unknown.

I don't know many people that have oft had the chance to look at the future and have zero ideas about what it will be like.  This scenario is different than: "I don't know if it will rain next week or if I will meet my maker."  It is more like: "I have chosen a different life and I will move my oxen, my cattle and my tents to the mountain region to secure good relationship."  I have never laid eyes on said "mountainous" region. I have never felt the scorching of that sun.  Yet every day I wake and all my efforts are in pursuit of reaching it, and reaching it as quickly as possible.

It is somewhat rare, I believe, this position in which I find myself.  I'm dreaming of home without the knowledge of truly just what it will be. It can be exciting, certainly, and it feels freeing because Angela 2.0 is possible. But we all know, actually, it will just be Angela in a different place.

I love that God writes my story - He has killer plot twists.  He knows how to wring emotion from every scene.  He knows just how to turn the page and close a chapter.  His comedic timing is spotless and His dramatic flair is everything.  The chapters of my life are not very redundant; I am never quite certain what to expect.

I am not spontaneous.  Not really at all. I would settle for the quiet earth and growing things and words.  I would sip tea and bore you for hours every Tuesday afternoon with meaningless and meaningful chatter.  I would sacrifice affluence for a quiet life.  I would choose love and friendship above the pen and paper.   I am not complicated, but am complicatingly simple.

Therefore. I would stay.  I would stay in the quiet and established.  I would not push for the wild and unknown parts of the world. Dragons can come to me if they need vanquishing.  I can dance in this silver forest just as well as any other.

And then, one random Wednesday, the Author amends His story just so at the most unlikely of moments...

I know I can trust Him for He always writes a wonderful ending.  He will give me tears for He knows I need them.  He will give me laughter for such is the medicine of life. He will walk my journey and weave a story, born in His heart and for the purpose of reaching people, until we meet in an yet undisclosed chapter (trust me - it's already written).

I must go on an adventure.  I am taking a small fellowship with me.  I shan't be returning.  But, oh, the sights that are ahead!  I should only embrace the time that is given me for all to soon the book will be dusty.

Goodbye to this season.  It took almost everything I had to give, and then some, but eventually the purpose of the chapter was realized. Good has been done here.  Love has blossomed.  And I leave with a heavier heart than I ever thought possible. 

I hope we meet again for my Tuesdays will always need an ear and tea is always at the ready.