Gentle Readers,
We are at the start of a new year, with the passing of every sunrise and sunset we move forward. As I reflect on the past year, it would be easy to say, "I can't wait for much of this season to fade in memory." It felt like a refining process took place through layer of time; it was painful; many tears were shed; and, yet, I never felt more assured of the cloud of witnesses cheering me on, or felt the close presence of heaven. Dear friend, if you find yourself in such a season, my heart is for you. I understand the deep human emotion that tenders and cuts every moment, no matter the source of the pain. Take a moment here. Take a moment to breathe. You don't need to paste a smile on your face. You can just feel. God wove emotion into the fabric of your DNA, into your brain chemistry, into your neurons. It is good and right to experience emotion and there is always a place for that.
It is in these moments of our lives that we reach for that which is not finite We want a stable place for our feet and a clear horizon. We want to know that there is more "out there" or hope that there truly is something that is sustainable that can send aid. It is human nature to reach for help when the light has gone and all the colors turn to grey. Considering our physical human nature, we have been created to thrive in the light. If you were to ask anyone who works third shift on steady rotation, they would agree. Our bodies have to be taught how to survive the hours without the sun. The same is true of our emotional and spiritual nature, we long to be in the light. We desire harmony and peace. God also wove this into the fabric of your DNA, into your brain chemistry, into your neurons. God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all; and, He designed us to be in relationship with Him.
Enter the sinful chaos of our world to disrupt a beautiful picture. Each of us faces obstacles every day, tasks and encounters that take us farther away from the God who would willingly spend eternity in our presence. I can share that much of my time spent in Texas has been a drawing away from the God who wants to spend eternity with me. As my spirit animal, Martha, from a village near Jerusalem, I am often worried and busy with many things. Things, dear friends, that will not outlast this life. Things that if I were not involved would really have no impact. Dust on my life timeline. The Lord was gracious in 2024 to bring me, often quite physically, to my knees. He showed me time and again that the strength I have is not meant to be used in control. The strength that He has given me is to be used in surrender. (Can I insert a "Selah" here?) Read that again, Angela. The strength God gave you is to be used in surrender. All the things you think you control are not yours to control. The more I leaned into surrender, the greater the peace that was mine. This world and its priorities will pass away; sooner than we think, dear ones. Eternity is a breath away....
When I wake in eternity, the first thing I want to say is: "Take me to the One who pursues and draws me. Take me to the One who wants me at his table forever. Take me to the King who has all authority in heaven and on earth. Take me to the One who loves me." And, I am audacious enough to believe that my request will be granted and that He will be happy to see me. (This is the kind of access YOU can have, dear one.) I can picture the crowd of witnesses parting, and I will be able to see the eternal King. I will then fully know all His attributes that mostly I can just imagine right now, save one.
Peace.
I carry with me, the knowledge of the peace that is possible, when it feels like all of the lights have gone out and all the colors turned to grey.
I will have it when I surrender my most precious thing - control.
I will have it when I am near my Savior.
It is the closest to heaven that I will be here on earth.
I am grateful for the refining process that shapes me to be more like Jesus. It is difficult, but worth it, always worth it.
Dear one, if you are struggling, there is One who longs to be near.
He is the mighty One who does great things. And holy is His name.
