Longing. Chaos. Simplicity.

Readers....

I'm thinking about how to breathe right now. All I feel is turmoil in my heart today. I think this will be a tough week ahead. Locally. Nationally. It feels like the culture will make a dramatic shift in the coming months. There are also shifts, relationally, for many friends. I feel anxious. As if the place I knew I had is no longer. As if the ground is crumbling....

I spent the day with my youngest, who has an affinity for Panera, like myself, and so we went for lunch. As our eyes glazed over at the sights of pastries and all things heavenly baked, he surprised me with these words, "I'd really like to work here for a college job." To which I responded, "I'd really like to work here, too, or a place just like it."

It was a breath of fresh air.

Sweet simplicity amidst chaos.

What if we really just did simple things? The things we enjoy. Baking. Writing. Whatever name that pursuit has for you, what if you did that? Would you feel like the ground was crumbling? Would your relationships be shifting? Positively? It's something I'm considering.

I will never forget sitting on my Grandpa's lap as a child, in my favorite outfit consisting of a maroon "I'm a Pepper" shirt paired with a triple layered light pink skirt with blue flowers, having a career discussion. When asked what career path I wanted to choose, I responded with, "A McDonalds worker." I could sense complete bewilderment as he grappled with the right response mixing candor, love and guidance. Finally, all he could muster was, "Well, wouldn't you maybe want to aim just a little higher?"

Yes. Grandpa. I do.

But I see some positives in choosing some simplicity in life. Go to work. Bake some bread. Or punch some keys. Come home.

While waiting for our food, my son went on to say, "It would be nice, listen to this music, and help people, it would be good." He mentioned later in the conversation that his favorite song is, "Stressed Out." The lad is nine. I don't like the implication that someone so young should have a relatable context to stress.

So much chaos. So much stress. So many broken people. I feel so very anxious tonight. But. Once upon a time.... In very similar circumstances. Love pushed aside the curtain of heaven and cradled right in the heart of broken chaos. Love took a long journey of redemption because Angela was worth it.

Because every heart was worth it.

When I turn my eyes upon the Writer of my story. The One who knows the number of my days. The One who is from everlasting to everlasting. The I AM.

The ground stabilizes.

I see simplicity. Faith brings me simplicity. And it is the breath of air for which I have been gasping.