Birthday Post

It's my birthday today, so it seems fitting to start the day with the statement, "The older I get..".

It's also fitting that I begin with my favorite thing. Writing.

It's early on a Saturday morning, I'm sitting in bed with my usual TERRIBLE bedhead. (Am I the only one that has serious hair issues in the morning - it's EVERYWHERE. Look at Christmas photos dating back to 1983, when I first had hair, and you'll see the pattern. Bless the people who see me first thing in the morning and still love me.) Piles of blankets and a big fluffy scarf are my closest allies, and the house is quiet. I think my husband might be making me coffee. And breakfast. I'm not sure. But I think. And, yes, if you are keeping score, he will earn meaningless brownies points for these actions.

Shall we begin?

The older I get....

1) I see so much value in understanding yourself.

In being fully aware of the strengths and weaknesses you possess. When you are able to name the good and bad, your contributions increase. For example, I know for a fact that I am very hard on myself. I will almost never be satisfied with the work of my hands, because I could have always, always done at least one, or twenty, things better. Being cognizant, I can plan steps to lessen the impact of meeting less than my own expectation, noting that being satisfied with a little less is better than a complete breakdown. On the flip side, without a doubt, put me in charge of spelling and writing all the things, cooking and canning for a group, and loving people, and I will absolutely shine. (At least from YOUR standards... See the first example.) Know yourself. Be yourself.

2) I see that pain gives birth to pain.

I'm sure I've said it before, I do not have the corner on suffering, but I am also not immune to the deep, dark roots of anguish, anger, and bitterness. Someone in pain, caused me pain. It was life changing and not for the better. The cycle perpetuates all over this great nation, and all over humanity. We decry the perpetuation all the while stirring up the pot ourselves. Humanity loves to pass along our opinions and feelings and angst, loving the reaction it brings. Naturally we all assume we do not want to increase crimes of hatred, but it is all in the small details. The little words here and there. The planting of seeds in the mind. And it all stirs up to big things. Painful, life changing events that people perpetuate. Be someone who stops pain. End a cycle with you. Because. Maybe. Love gives birth to love.

3) I am consistently amazed at entitlement.

As a CNA, I have wiped just about all of the bodily fluids from a variety of sources. I have cleaned up vomit, diarrhea, garbage, blood, urine, and the like. There is not one job I can think of that I feel I am above. I would work at McDonalds. I would be a school janitor. I look around me and all I see are people who think they should not have to do this and that. I have X number of educational degrees, why would I be the one? I have X amount of seniority, why would I be the one? I. I. I. My father recently retired after working 46 years at a grocery store. He did not have a college degree or many accolades,a simple man by the world's standards. But, with dedication and humility he served this company, that did not always treat him well, with his life. He worked with fruits and vegetables for 46 years. With respect. With humility. Without entitlement. His example shaped me. Readers, I hope you have the same example. If not, note this one. Stop being entitled. You do not deserve anything. Regardless. You should work hard at whatever task you see right before you. Always.

4) Beauty is around us and God is near.

I always wondered why "old" people talked about the weather so much. I'm beginning to understand. I appreciate more, with each passing year, the seasons and patterns. The colors of fall are so magnificent and I'm grateful to be back in the land of trees. Growing things - plants, flowers is such a joy. The grass that needs cut every week is lush, soft and beautiful. The beauty we are given is evidence that God is near. He knows about the pain cycle. He knows we ache and hurt at this life. When we look out the window at the big puffy flakes of snow, we can't help but smile. A little message of hope and love from the God who loves you. He says, "I am here. Unchanging as the seasons. Like the sub zero weather that hangs on for four months every.single.year I am constant." He gives us beauty in exchange for the ashes of our lives. He gives us beauty to see. He gives us beauty in the form of people he places in our lives. God is near, readers. Immanuel. Thankful.

On this day, I'm thankful for each of you joining me on this blogging journey. It brings me so much joy and you are a part of that.

Thank you.