What are your thoughts about love?
Do you believe in love-at-first-sight?
Do you believe love heals all things?
Do you believe love is worth seeking?
Do you believe love happens only once?
Do you believe that you are worthy of love?
Do you know what love is and what love is not?
I have nieces, nephews, cousins, "adopted" kids in my heart that are on the threshold of life. The message the world spreads about love is so deceiving. Dear all-special-people-in-my-life, please ponder some things with me a few moments. I wear reading glasses now so I am aged and have leveled up in wisdom. Please laugh it up, enjoy, and then allow me to share with you my experience.
First. Love at first sight is a complete myth. It does not mean that you are not "carefree or romantic enough" when you wisely dismiss this notion. Your "heart" might tell you otherwise but I caution you to think with your head in this matter. Your visual attraction to someone means nothing about your ability to care for them personally.
Secondly. Love does not heal all things. Love covers a multitude of things. A multitude. Love forgives, and forgives, and forgives. But it does not erase the scars and deep wounds. Those linger. And sometimes they linger for a lifetime. Remember that. Our words and actions last.
Thirdly. I would unequivocally tell you that love is worth seeking, but be sure you know what it is and what it is not. Seek understanding. Seek compatability. Seek comfortable silence. Seek laughter. Please, please remember that physical attraction, while important, does not win the day. I remember, a lifetime ago, "falling" (in my mind) for a pair of deep brown eyes. This person and I could not have been more incompatible with the exception of our ability to banter. I was gullible, and I could not see past the two things that seemed like a solid bargain; I wasted a lot of writing time in that pursuit. I would now tell a much younger Angela to be watchful of the people who would use you, pay more heed to what you want, and all talk should be taken with a grain of salt. Words have so much more power than we give credit. Do yourself a big favor in potential relationships. Measure them carefully. Weigh them. And disregard the disingenuous honeyed.
Fourthly. Everyone is worthy of love.
Period.
Beware of those telling you that you must change to receive their affection. These beans are not your beans. Move on. Quickly.
Lastly, the question I do not feel qualified to remotely address.
Do you believe love happens only once?
If Ryan dies tomorrow, I'm not sure I would ever find someone willing to love me like he does. It seems once-in-a-lifetime. He knows all there is to know, I irritate him, I make him listen to all the talking, but I buy us Dunkin Donuts, and I bring him drinks while he watches TV. He says things, after 12 years, that melt my heart, like, "You are the whole package."
Can someone love you enough to tolerate you, but also thoroughly enjoy who you are....once? More than once?
I hope there are ever so many opportunities for love... but do grab the opportunities that you find. Cherish them for as long as you have breath. Work at resolution. Be willing to lessen your pride. Allow yourself to forgive.
Love deeply.
And laugh. Laugh.
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