Places I Remember

Today is 38.

Dear ones, I am not too concerned about inching toward 40. I have a goal that when I am 40, my good friend Erin (who lives all the way in Wyoming and I never see her beautiful face) and I, are traveling to Japan. We made this pact to go visit our friend, Sayaka, the year we turned 40. So. Something to look forward to when the time comes. Although, I do count that I've been to Japan because I had a layover in Tokyo. I bought a Snickers in Japanese. Totally immersed myself in the culture. Desperately tried to make sure I didn't miss my flight because English. No. English. I worried constantly because people kept moving from the gate, and here's small, Midwest Ang, sitting alone, with a black backpack and dead eyes (sleepless/foodless/motionless 14 hour flight from Atlanta), looking for a friendly face for reassurance. I count that. I did Japan. But, maybe again, I will count it, and my eyes will light upon that of my friend's and there will be nothing dead about it.

Today, my schedule is so full of things. I will be running from one thing to the next and nothing about this day is about me. (Honestly, there is a small place inside that is disgruntled about that. How did all this chaos end up on the same day? And, when am I ever going to eat with nonstop meetings from 10-6? And why can I never make it to The Rusty Nail for my 38 free birthday wings? I am going to move out of this state before I ever see that dream come to fruition.) But. The bigger side of me. The mature side that can overlook the piggy side, can be grateful to serve others today. To have a place at the table.

Having a place at the table. It is my heart. It is the heart of The Great Commission. It is the heart of Jesus. I love walking into someone's house and it feels like an extension of my own. I love not having to knock. I love gathering in the kitchen, putting the food together and sitting down at the usually figurative table and eating a meal. With loved ones. I truly have no greater joy than this. I have a spot at this table. With you. It fulfills me in deep places. Because this is what we are called to do. Go into the world, make friends. Invite them to the table. With you and Jesus. It's a safe place, this table, it really is. If you never feel home, let this spot be the one. If you never feel deeply loved, let this spot be the one. The older I get, the more passionate I become about belonging. I see it in youth. I see it in mature adults. I see it in seniors. Everyone wants a place where it's safe, comfortable and natural. That can be with me. Look, if you need to blow your nose a hundred times, that's okay. I'm a mother. I was a nursing assistant. I've wiped a lot of bottoms that were not my own. A little snot doesn't bother me.

I encourage you to see who is at your table. Are you sitting with Jesus? Oh, dear friend, if not, I invite you to. Your life will be transformed with the Author of Life sitting next to you. Not an exaggeration. Are you with those that make you feel safe? Are you with those that make you home? If not, go find those ones. Make friends. Fill your table. Fill your heart. Create belonging. Start with yourself.

Today is 38. A place at the table. For you. Is my heart. I hope it will be a place that you remember for years to come.