One Mississippi

It's getting to be late summer.  The days are hot and long and it seems it could go on forever.  Do you feel that way about summer days? For me, every day feels as though I am standing at the edge of a precipice. I could close my eyes, jump,

and fall forever and feel the heat and wind and breathe the smell of summer and open them to a new life. 

I asked my husband to take me on a motorcycle ride this week.  I needed to get away from my job, the disarray that is my house, and the glare of change that never fades to grey.  Partway down the street, I asked him to take a different route and take me out of town, because nothing compares to summer in the country. 

If I were any kind of writer I would be able to describe that first smell that greets you as you cross that invisible line between chaos and silence. I closed my eyes and breathed. For the first time in weeks. It smells like pine and oak; heat and fresh mown hay; cut grass and Queen Anne's lace, which is really just the smell of weeds, tall ones, that wave in a big field mixed with yellow wildflowers. It smells like lightening bugs, burning wood, cucumbers, and honeybees. 

I allowed myself to let go. 

It restores my soul.

One doesn't have to choose.  One can be a combination. A combination of the city and the country; of working and stay at home;  of take out and home cooked; of homebody and world traveler; of writer and reader.  

There are many things I want and all of these above apply.  I want to be classy  in New York City and snapping green beans on my porch. I want to work and make a difference and I want to stay home and cook all the meals and grow things.  I want to wear heels and be barefoot. 

When you are standing at the edge of a precipice, right before you jump, there is a feeling of excitement, you have so many options in front of you. Anything is possible.  Change is here. 

You can close your eyes and all the way down you get to decide what will be next. 

You breathe in at that invisible line between chaos and silence.  And you know that no matter what you choose this line will always be home. 

You smile, strap in, and prepare to enjoy all the beautiful moments ahead.  The people and life that want to help you say goodbye. 

This is the now. This is goodbye. This chaos is a beautiful summation of a life that was created.  

Breathe. One Mississippi. Two Mississippi.

Goodbye.