I'm not sure how I reached another November and I'm in almost exactly the same place as I was last year. I'm the same tired. I'm the same stressed. I'm the same teary eyed. I'm the same unhappy. I thought I would be in such a different place when I looked ahead in time. It's disappointing to find its the same.
I think I must be doing something wrong to always find myself in a repeated pattern of stress. Is anyone else in this boat? Am I the only one who seems to be on cycle repeat? Each day is another day to check items off and sometimes that feels like accomplishment - yippee - moreover it feels like a merry-go-round that I cannot get off.
Did you ever ride a merry-go-round? It was the hottest recess ticket at Clinton Elementary. You better believe I handled the start-up of that like a boss, skirts and pigtails flying. I would hop on at the last possible moment that my feet could not keep up, and I was barely hanging on. I would lay there, close my eyes, and breathe, then look at my best friend and start giggling.
As an adult it doesn't feel nearly as exciting. It feels overwhelming. The barely hanging on feels like failure. How can I be in the same place? Is God repeatedly giving me the same lesson or am I an idiot who keeps walking in the same circle or is this what the whole world is doing? Are we all just riding a merry-go-round of chaos?
I'm discouraged and disheartened. I'm guessing and hoping this season will be shorter lived. But maybe it's just the way of living and raising teenagers in today's world. Maybe it's chaos for everyone.
Maybe the key is finding and holding onto the friends who will hang on with you. Who will giggle and cry and offer french vanilla coffee and a warm hug.
Reach out to your friends tonight. Maybe they too are having the same November. Maybe a word from you is just what they need to close their eyes and breathe.
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