I wonder if you journal or periodically, reflect.
I find that it is a consistent pattern in my life that October and November always bring change. I then wonder if fall makes me restless or if fall is a natural segue.
October
I was married 2004
I had child one 2005
I had child two 2007
Bought our first home 2008
Broke my first bone 2009
Ryan was deployed 2009
Ryan came home 2010
November
Left my longest held job (6 years) - 2002
First trip to upstate NY/Ryan relocated 2012
Left my second longest held job (5 years) 2017
Lost/left one of my favorite jobs in 2018
In just those few lines lays much of my life. I can see heartache, joy, uncertainty. Change.
I am finally wrapping up my pending journey this week. I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful experience. I created and found my space in the midst of a diverse, intelligent group of techies. This would be the last place I would expect to fit. Not only do I fit, I am loved. I have been able to build a community and they are sad to see me go as I am sad to leave. It truly makes a difference when you enjoy the work of your hands and you can make an impact and touch the life of another simply by coming to work. I am so much smarter than a year ago - I finally understand the complex work that my husband is involved in. I know what EUV is, what it does, and what it looks like. Osmosis has been amazing - plasma, droplets, source, reticle, wafer stage ain't got nothing on me. Technology has eluded me my entire life and I now believe it isn't impossible for me to take hold of it and use it. I have gained so much confidence and it feels wonderful when people rely on you and implicitly trust that you can get the job done. In almost every other role I have held, there is a limit to trust and there is not the freedom to be myself and use all the skills that I possess. I have always felt caged, locked into a certain expectation and delivery that is someone else's idea of what it should look like. Here I was given free reign and my soul blossomed.
What I take away from the dutch culture is directness. Look someone in the eye and say exactly what you mean. If you don't know what you're doing, say so. We will get you the training you need. If you believe you can take that action and lead the measure, do so. We will expect you to deliver and leave you to it. Americans are so much less direct, to our own detriment I would say. We worry about offending, and we him and haw, and often that leads to miscommunication. That being said, directness can take on a bit of a sour tone, because if they don't like what you are doing or have done, you will certainly know, even if there is an audience to hear it. But. When they pay you a compliment, it means tenfold because they do not waste words. In my observation, they are very decisive people. I have taken these lessons to heart and it has only been the better for me.
I have had the privilege of meeting people from all around the world. People from many walks of life, countries and cultures have stopped by my desk and I have picked up the ability to understand heavy accents. Heretofore, that was a bit of a struggle for me and it's never easy when you have to keep saying "I'm sorry, what?" (However, that dutch directness means you power through until you absolutely understand. There is very limited (none) just smiling/nodding.)
As I look to what is next and wind down the last couple days... I'm super sad. I'm super grateful. Twelve months ago God gave me a gift at just the exact moment I needed it. I'm a better employee and person because of it.
Thanks, colleagues and friends, you have made me so content and I have rested.
With a full heart I head into the next season.....
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