We live in a world full of intense pain and broken things.
There isn't a way that we can slap a piece of apple pie on that and fix it.
Tonight I want to send out apple pies the world over and mend the broken pieces. I'd throw in vanilla ice cream or whipped cream if I thought it could add an ounce of help.
As you know, I have recently transplanted to Texas; the past seven months have been intense. There have been so many days that I wasn't sure how to safely wade through the waters. I would get to a point that I would literally be crying so hard that I couldn't breathe. We have a "water closet" and I would go in there and sit on the toilet, cry into my hands, rock back and forth and will myself to stop sobbing. I can try to explain all the reasons this timeframe is harder or different than previous relocations or other periods of stress in my life. I can try to explain that I was trying so hard to cope well and lead by example for my teenagers only to find the buildup had to have a release. I'm actually not going to explain it because I don't have to give an explanation. Everyone has a limit. Let me say it again, "Everyone has a limit."
Gentle reader, when you reach your threshold, whatever it is, know that pain and stress needs an outlet. Strength does not lie in keeping stoic, rather, I would say strength lies in the ability to process and get that garbage on its way.
I haven't been sleeping well this week and I'm, again, learning a new job. I've basically been a new employee for seven months and it is getting really old. It is always traumatic for me to learn something new because I try to cram it all in there in a short amount of time so that I can be perfect before anyone notices a thing. I can't live like this, y'all. I am toast. So at 2:07 am this morning when I was awakened and instantly my mind was alert and tracking all the delivery numbers, exam schedules, dentist appointments, travel arrangements, and new curtains... I thought of broken pieces, shattered lives, and Jesus.
It is quite possible that I thought of you.
I have received no shortage of pain filled stories in the last several months; there is literally no end to the sorrow. Stories start to match and my mind drifted from one person to another to another. I must say, I felt so hopeless, like the dark was strangling me. And then I started praying.
It is quite possible that I prayed for you.
And what I said to Jesus was something like this..... "Do you know how much pain is in this world? Do you know what people do to other people? Do you cry tears like we do? You have the power to step in and literally solve world peace - do you ache to do it? Are you yearning today to make everything new? Does time heal all wounds? Do broken people rise again? Why is coping so difficult? Why can't I go to sleep? Why is it 110* in this room?" And then verses of scripture and individuals came to mind and I started praying in earnest. You know what, gentle readers, Jesus does care about the pain in the world. I believe that He does ache to make everything new and wipe away our tears, but that day is yet future.
For now, we have to process. For now, we have to sit in the water closet and deal.
We live in a world full of intense pain and broken things, but I pray God will draw you near and mend the pieces of your life. I pray that you would know His love for you. I pray that forgiveness and mercy would shine through your heart leading to peace. I pray, in a most desperate way, that we all find faith, and God then keeps us firm in it until the day we draw our last breath or He comes again.
Well said!
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