Every person has their own definition of family. Each person has had different experiences with the concept and relational aspects that go with it. Some have had positive experiences and others may have had less than. I guarantee, though, that when the word "family" is said, something specific will come to mind. You would have an instant gut reaction that is directly proportional to your experiences. Oh, dear friends, it would be my hope that for you it would have been a positive experience.
Family does not always mean blood relatives, although you are born into a blood family. We joke quite a bit in my own family about "blood being thicker than water." Therefore, the married-in's have to band together to thwart those activity and food needs that the blood relatives will enforce. Such as mac-n-mater and Scrabble. Look I know these things are not for everyone. I mean I get if you are not intelligent enough to formulate an acceptable word on the playing board. But, for the love, try the mac-n-mater and embrace it. I can be a Sam-I-Am right now and tell you that you might just like it if you try it. Elbow macaroni -al dente - with hot tomato juice poured over. Yes, that is PLAIN macaroni and PLAIN tomato juice. There is no cheese involved. It is not spaghetti sauce. Just macaroni and tomato juice preferrably fresh squeezed from your garden but, Campbell's is okay. Add salt and pepper to taste. Please tell me how much you love it after you try it.
Guess what, my husband is out of town this week and this is on the menu for dinner - tonight! Because he can't with the mac-n-mater. But I still married him. And he gets to bond with all the other married-in's who can't stand it. So it works.
Blood IS usually thicker than water, it is a natural instinct to find your way back to those that share your familial lines. You get each other. You are each other. Those deep ties that bind for a lifetime flow in your veins. However, there are circumstances when those deep ties falter and fail. There are those circumstances of human error, faulty reasoning, and damaging tides that cannot be stemmed and you find you will not return. There are circumstances where you do not often see your blood family due to distance. In these cases you form a new family by reaching out and bonding with others around you. These people may not understand mac-n-mater or Scrabble but in time the bond will be created and neither time nor distance will be able to tear it in two.
However your family is formed, however the ties have been bound, these are your people for life. My sweet nephew is graduating at the end of this month; he is my only nephew on my side of the family. Out of the blue, I'm feeling quite emotional about it. I will journey back to my homeland and I will celebrate his launching with great pride and joy, although I have had little to do with it. So much of his early life that I got to see before I moved away does remain forever. Words that he said. Expressions that he used. Same with other nieces and my own kiddos. These are regular speak to this day in my house. You might have even heard me use some. We eat "root salad" and still request to send "ony out." We say "peas" when we want more, and "s' acky" when something is gross. I will give you a long sentence for demonstrative purposes only. Baked/boiled potatoes, pasta beans, peas, beer, tiramisu, dark chocolate, and anything that comes out of the sea (insert grimace for effect) s'acky. (is acky) I love that we have that. I love that we get to carry and keep bits and pieces of our family with us wherever we go. Even though we have missed out on lots, we still have keepsake memories. We still work diligently to stay connected.
Your people for life. You will drop everything to be with them when they call. You will not be selfish and you will give of your time and money, and it will not be a drudgery because you enjoy them that much. They fulfill and complete you. Blood or water or both.
I have these people in my mind. My family. Blood, water and both. The joy I have in these knows no bounds. It is complicated, comforting, constricting and freeing all in one ginormous swoop. I would gladly lay down my life in exchange for any one. The emotion that they can stir in me is life affirming. It IS life.
I don't think he reads my blog.....so he can't be too embarrassed....
Ya-Ya, your auntie is so proud of you young man, by all accounts you are such a good little egg. Be proud of the reputation you have earned. Be mindful it is very, very easy to lose. May the trials that will come strengthen both your soul and your faith, and give your character substance. Try to remember who I am when you are in college and when you get married and when you have your babies. In the meantime....may our God shine His face so warmly on your path.
Pomp and Circumstance in 3-2-1....
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