Something To Let Go

We often hold onto things that perhaps we should let go. Grudges, pain, anger, jobs, 5th Avenue bars, coats.  I recently got rid of a coat that I've been hoarding for a good 6 years.  I would wear this coat in all seasons and weather conditions.  If I was shoveling snow, I was wearing it.  If it was a little chilly in May, I was wearing it.  It was so comfortable and perfect. Except for one thing.  For maybe two years now it had a giant hole in the seam under the arm.  Mostly I don't think you could see it unless my arm was raised.  I just couldn't bring myself to discard it even with the hole. To me, it was still perfect despite its distinct imperfection.  I was certain to never find a replacement.

With very little research, I found a replacement.

I kind of had a little ceremony as I discarded it.  This coat was with me in Utah, carried me through some rough days in New York; it soaked up a lot of tears, rain, snow, and probably some mustard.  It was like an old friend.  I took a photo. Ya know, for posterity. For when I'm 80 and can't remember the precious.  Then I rolled my eyes at my own behavior and promptly deleted it.  We humans can be a bit weird with a camera in such daily close proximity.  We don't need a photo of the M&M's we are about to eat.  Or do we? 

I wonder if we hold onto things more than people. Is it a possibility that we value things more than relationships? 

I wonder if we let go of people more easily than we should.  Is it a possibility that we value ourselves more than we value others?

I stood up for my coat.  When my family teased me, I paid them no mind.  I'm good with it; I love this coat.  "Are you going to buy me the exact same coat? Or any coat at all?"  No, you are probably not; therefore, I will continue to put it on and brave the elements.  I was definitely in full support of an inanimate object, although it was clearly lacking in value.

I'm out in the world everyday. I'm on social media. I have pre-teens.   Do you know what I see?  Do you know what I hear? A lot of profanity.  A lack of compassion.  Minimal respect. Maximum chaos.  I see things valued in my own house. Things are important. Screens are important.  Even to myself if I'm honest.  Screens teach us to value ourselves.  What only we want to see and do. Our texts. Our Netflix show. Our photos.  It's all about us.  I see it clearly in my own life, coat jokes aside.  It is self serving and causes me to be self-absorbed. 

Selfish people are not good with relationships.  That's a fact.  Because relationships require self-less-ness.  You have to look to the interests of others in a relationship.  How can I better help this person?  How can I better know and love this person?  How can I be a good friend?  How can I get involved in their life? 

My son asked me, yesterday, "Can you imagine a life without the internet?"  Then he giggled because he knew.

Yep.  I sure can because I lived part of my life without the internet.

"What in the world did you do all the time?"

Played lots of board games. Went swimming. Went sledding. Built forts - lots. Rode my bike - a lot. Climbed trees. Made a carnival for the neighborhood, a time or two; advertised said carnival for hours standing at the end of my driveway holding a sign on my not-well-traveled street, sold....three(?) tickets. (Yep, I was a carney in my former life. There are some stories in there for my memoirs.)  Read books - a lot. Gardened. Colored.  Whined about being bored. Probably whined some more.  Did some chores.  Most of my life was collaborative.  Not singular.  I think that is important to note.

No, I don't think screens ruin everything.  But I wholeheartedly believe that they do impact today's relationships and minimize the value we place in others and what is going on around us. I think those who have had screens a larger part of their life can't see the difference or notice the issue.  You can quickly hop on social media and get all the "self affirmation" you need from meaningless places.  What matters is what is in front of you. The people beside you.

Can I champion, doing, without electronic devices?

Can I champion board games?  Can I champion talking? Can I champion puzzles? Maybe foursquare?  It's hard work.  Parenting. Friending. Loving. Physically talking. Working. Improving. Involving. It's hard.

But it's worth it.  Grab another 5th Avenue for the journey and do it.  I'm here with you.  Letting go of my phone....and grabbing your hand.....