Thursday

Gentle Readers....

Have I conveyed how much I enjoy time in this space to share my heart? 

I think every person has that one passion that just makes them feel alive, makes them feel like themselves, and in that glimmer of time, you know that you are doing what you have been made for. Writing is that for me and lately, I have not spent much time doing what I love.  There are many reasons for that, and most of them are good. 

We spoke about agendas recently, one thing on that list that I am ticking off and "developing" is getting up and exercising before work.  Thumbs down to this, friends.  Just.  Big thumbs down.  I mean if God wanted us to exercise He would have given us bigger feet and hands.  For the love, I cannot balance on these teeny toes, lower my body to the ground and then be expected to bring it back up. It's not natural. Plus, it's 0600, all good and decent hobbits are still snuggled in their beds dreaming of third breakfast which includes a blueberry muffin if we want to be frank.  Yet, here I have been, day after day, dry heaving here and there, pushing my body to do something.  And I am not happy about it.  So, the next time you see me you better say all the things like, "sculpted" and "lean" and "healthy" and "fit" and "tall" and "graceful" and "beautiful." I'm not kidding.  Write it down.

In this new direction my life has taken, I have been presented with a lot of learning, growing and developing.  I am working in an environment unlike any of which I have been a part.  First, it is an international company involving people from many countries.  It is largely male dominated.  Further, these males are engineers, which means they are very smart.  I often feel intimidated when I think the playing field is not level.  I have many wonderful qualities, but I do not think I am as intelligent as an engineer, nor do I think like one.  I sit at my desk and listen to the chatter around me.  I observe the communication and interaction.  While I feel exactly the opposite of all my co-workers, I find I also feel at home.  Because my difference is pivotal.  My difference completes the puzzle.  I come along and do the the small things in the background that help to run the ship. I have excellent interpersonal and organizational skills which bridges all divides.  I tend to market myself in this area when I'm job hunting, because these two skills are vital to any role and the rest can be learned.  I enjoy my job more and more and I hope that at the end of the term, I will be offered a full time role.  I'm glad to be in a learning phase.

I was almost in a car accident recently.  I was making a left hand turn with a green arrow. As I was starting the turn, a car came barreling through the red light, also making a left turn that would have put him right into myself and another car. He was going really fast and I was sure it wasn't going to end well for me. Death. Dismemberment. These are the things running through your mind. Suddenly those push-ups don't sound half bad now. I'm still here, friends. I have all my limbs.  I'm reminded once again how God orchestrates our lives. Our lives are fully in His hands. That might have been the day I met Jesus face-to-face. Which would not have been all bad for me.  We make all these plans and push and pull our way through life. We worry and stress and wonder how things will work out.  Meanwhile all our days have already been numbered.  Meanwhile the plan is already in motion.  Meanwhile. Things will unfold from an eternal perspective.  All these little details of our lives add up to one paragraph in the novel God is writing. 

I'm going to get up tomorrow and exercise. I'm going to grumble about it because the scale continues to go up so whatever. I'm going to go to work and fill the coffee, help someone with the copy machine, and listen to the Dutch language flow around me. It's probably not going to be a life-changing day. But maybe it is. Maybe it is my last day on Earth.  So l should make it count. For eternity.

I wish I could see my part in the story. I wish I could know for sure if I've made any difference to anyone.  It's food for thought on a Thursday.  God is writing a story and He loved me enough to include me for a brief part. I hope I make Him proud.