This quote has been on my mind.
As a writer, it is important to fill and empty the heart. To express one's self.
I'm currently stuck in a place where my heart is full yet I feel unable to write. I will write what I can.
Sometimes silence conveys what the heart cannot. Sometimes the silence between two individuals speaks volumes. For good or bad. When I feel too much I am always at a great loss of words. I can only hope you read my heart well.
Sometimes music takes the place of silence. Music gives our soul a voice when words fail.
Death is a path we all must take. On the other side of the curtain is eternity, and we each have decisions to make about what that will look like for us.
The aftermath, though, of this path for those who remain is filled with questions, pain, anger, uncertainty, and almost always, regret.
I have run the course of emotion this past week. I have faltered my way through the days longing for clarity. I have understood a pain heretofore unknown. I have not known my place. I have held my tongue. I have said too much.
Grief is a process that you either experience or observe. If you are an observer, there is precious little you can do for the experiencer. Your task as an observer is to show up, consistently, and embrace the journey.
It is largely a thankless job. You will be called upon without notice and you may be dropped without consideration.
Grief is long, it ebbs and flows, it can be all consuming or a dull, buried ache that manifests randomly.
The one who walks through grief does not know the way.
The one who observes. This one. Stood before holy God and vowed to have, to hold, to love, to honor, to cherish.
The one who observes will hold your hand and walk through the darkness. With you. Although I also do not know the way.
For now. Music.
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