Do you categorize your life in levels of importance?
Do you routinely look at your priorities?
I'm not sure if it's because I am a woman but these three things drive my days. I immediately think of the "to do" list as soon as my eyes open.
"Today is cello/ski day so I have to leave at 7:30 for drop off. Not a minute later or I'll be stuck in Shen campus traffic."
"Today is second Sunday of the month so I must leave by 10am to be in place to serve at church."
"What day of the week is it?!? Did I forget my alarm or is it Saturday? What am I forgetting?!"
"Should I skip that and do this instead? But I know I won't be home from work until after 6..."
I'm not sure if this is a common thread for others, but especially in these months of winter and spring I find myself deeply engaged in getting everything done well.
It was a busy few months through the holidays and transitioning jobs. It required a lot of effort for me to prepare for Christmas, prepare for a funeral, travel, extra work hours, extra family time, baking, serving. Each of my days was full of items to check off. I hate checking off "family time," but if I'm honest it gets a check so that I know I satisfactorily fit it in. As my kids have aged, I find it more and more necessary to engage them because they do not as voluntarily engage with me. I must draw out the conversation from their little hearts and minds. I've been amazed at what I find out, what things I would have never known; thus, this is now in the top portion of my priority list.
During this lengthy time of "doing" and "serving" I found myself so often with tears as I drove to work. Tears of pure gratefulness and gratitude for what has been mine. It comes over me in overwhelming waves, this thankful spirit. God is consistently reminding me and tuning my heart these past months. I have much to do because my heart and life is full. I get to serve Jesus because He first served me. I get to serve my family because I have one. I get to serve my employer and colleagues because I am blessed with a job immediately following the loss of one. All the prioritizing is because my life is full. I always want to do and be at my best which is one of the greatest installations of my childhood, but it does tend to lead toward misaligned priorities. God is growing me here. He opens my eyes to see the output of my hands and heart. He shows me what is of the longer and lasting value and that which will one day be dust.
I cannot fail when I pour my heart into people. The people God entrusted to me in my household. The people he brings into my sphere of influence. The people that he loves. All the rest will fade in time but love echoes down the hallways of homes and hearts and lingers into eternity.
I might finally be getting something right. I might finally have a steady course, something like a star. I have been fashioned and made for a steady purpose.
Says Javert in Les Miserables...
You know your place in the sky
You hold your course and your aim
And each in your season
Returns and returns
And is always the same
During this lengthy time of "doing" and "serving" I found myself so often with tears as I drove to work. Tears of pure gratefulness and gratitude for what has been mine. It comes over me in overwhelming waves, this thankful spirit. God is consistently reminding me and tuning my heart these past months. I have much to do because my heart and life is full. I get to serve Jesus because He first served me. I get to serve my family because I have one. I get to serve my employer and colleagues because I am blessed with a job immediately following the loss of one. All the prioritizing is because my life is full. I always want to do and be at my best which is one of the greatest installations of my childhood, but it does tend to lead toward misaligned priorities. God is growing me here. He opens my eyes to see the output of my hands and heart. He shows me what is of the longer and lasting value and that which will one day be dust.
I cannot fail when I pour my heart into people. The people God entrusted to me in my household. The people he brings into my sphere of influence. The people that he loves. All the rest will fade in time but love echoes down the hallways of homes and hearts and lingers into eternity.
I might finally be getting something right. I might finally have a steady course, something like a star. I have been fashioned and made for a steady purpose.
Says Javert in Les Miserables...
Stars
In your multitudes
Scarce to be counted
Filling the darkness
With order and light
You are the sentinels
Silent and sure
Keeping watch in the night
Keeping watch in the night
In your multitudes
Scarce to be counted
Filling the darkness
With order and light
You are the sentinels
Silent and sure
Keeping watch in the night
Keeping watch in the night
You know your place in the sky
You hold your course and your aim
And each in your season
Returns and returns
And is always the same
As I move through the year ahead...I will keep these words close at heart. Stars. Steady. Filling the darkness. With love.
No comments:
Post a Comment