Mistakes. We all make them. We hurt the people that we love. We hurt ourselves. Life is full of moments of mess. Of navigating the unpleasant waters. I currently find myself in such a place.
I recently was presented with a situation, an opportunity, as I saw it,to be a resolution. I am definitely a female, sharing very,very few characteristics with the male gender, except this one, I like solving problems. I want to fix all the situations. I am an observer, and as previously stated, an excellent reader of people. I read emotions, faces, motives, and put together the puzzle behind the puzzle. I'm fascinated with the "why" of action and how that contributes to the whole. I'm fascinated with people. Plain and simple. Pair this fascination with pride, and problem solving, and you could take on the world.
In my quest for world domination, I think I might have been too proud to see one truth, as it relates to this situation. I am not always the one. The "if you could just see what the work of my hands will produce and then you will know I am right for the job" person... I have long, long, long been an over extender, saying "yes" to all the committees and projects, because surely everyone can benefit from all my wealth of expertise. I know, right? It is difficult to strip away the layers and find the truth. It is difficult, always, to admit fault. Specifically when you desire perfection. But in this place, we are being real. We are being transparent. So, friends, I see, so clearly, today, that I am not the resolution. It hurts. It hurts my pride, but mostly it hurts my heart.
What do you do? When you find yourself in the unpleasant situation of...I've made a mistake... The more difficult task is here. The road is hardest when your heart hurts, your pride stings, and you must admit that you were wrong. We celebrate warriors for hard won victories. We champion those who never give up. We repeat these mantras to ourselves as we #die to win at life. But in the quiet spaces, we can see the character that is established when warriors can be humble. Surrender requires more strength than brawn. Than self righteous pride. It is so.much.harder to give voice to the statement...I am not the one. The glory belongs to another. I did not, or can not, do the right things.
Life is full of moments of mess, yes, but these are the quiet spaces, the spaces where we are strong.
Humility is hard won, but rarely sought. What a shame.
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