Time

It's a gorgeous day in New York. It's a good day to be sitting, comfortably, in my kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee and looking at the trees. I'm also looking at my drying and yellowing tomato and pepper plants, thinking, "This season is just about over."

I had a goal this year. A goal to live intentionally. To live with thought and purpose, specifically regarding my family and friends. I considered, in January, the passing of time. How does it go so quickly? And when you are gone, does anyone even know you were here? In light of this, what matters most?

Living with purpose.

Such a noble goal.

Despite my best laid plans, I faltered. I did do some good things. I made good effort. But in review, I fell short. I let the chaos in. I let in life stresses. I let it disrupt my family. I did not even come close to maintaining an appropriate life balance, because while I was stripping myself down to the bone to deliver for everyone, I was unable to be fully engaged in any one task for either side. I'm still feeling the effects of that poor choice. Internally I feel like my tomato plants look. Spent. And I am ashamed. If I were to meet Jesus tonight, in my dirty bare feet, and not my Christmas shoes, I wouldn't be very proud of the last weeks of my life.

Live intentionally.

With thought and purpose.

I'm thinking about my long-term goals. Where I might see myself in 5 years. What I might be doing. But, mostly, I'm thinking about these next several weeks. I'm going to the movies, and dinner, with my husband. I will tell him his support and hard work do not go unnoticed. I'm going to smother him in hugs as is the right of every wife. Soon, I'm going to smother my kids in kisses and hugs. I will watch as they head off to the 5th and 3rd grades. I will embrace the practicing of the Saxophone in my house. I will sit in the rain at soccer. I will play all the games of Uno. I will meet that acquaintance for coffee. Or a movie. Friendship is a gift.

This is the here and now, and I can do nothing greater than fully invest in the lives of those around me.

Live intentionally. With thought and purpose. Friends. The time passes so quickly.